Holiday Season

Christmas is a very difficult time of year when one has lost a loved one... We pray that whoever is feeling that loss this season has peace and love surrounding them...

 

For any family members who have lost a loved one in the communitites that we serve--our annual Service of Remembrance for Huber-Moore and Moore Funeral Homes will take place at the First Baptist Church in Bordentown, NJ on December 10th at 3PM. 

Veteran's Day

It took extraordinary courage, sacrifice, commitment, and most of all it took hope.  We want thank all the service men and women that sacrifice their lives and their time with their families. You are all very special and much appreciated!  Thank you from all of us at Moore Funeral Services. 

Touching short story by Lise Saffran

Take a few minutes to read this touching short story of the last summer of her grandmother's life... you may be able to relate to this.   
http://www.pw.org/content/why_we_write_in_the_presence_of_living_0

2011 Bordentown Rotary Golf Outing

Vince Schino, JD Moore, Carl Hasson, and Jerry Mountford represented Moore Funeral Services, Inc. at the 2011 Bordentown Rotary Golf Outing at Rancocas Golf Club on Monday.  What a good looking bunch! 

* With the exception of Carl Hasson (NJ Lic. No. 4180), all others photographed are unlicensed and unable to embalm, arrange or direct funerals in the State of New Jersey. 

The Funeral Directors Impact

The funeral is a tradition in our culture that allows us to mourn the loss of a loved one.  Without a memorial for the loved one, the grief process does not begin in a productive way.  It allots us a certain amount of time to mourn freely, but unfortunately, the funeral service is only the beginning of the grieving process.  It is important for families to get involved by making picture collages of the loved one and collecting memorable items to place around the funeral home during the service.  Trying to get the entire family involved can be difficult, specifically the men, but it is important to engage them.  The grief process does not end as soon as the funeral is over. 

A difficult time to be without a loved one is during the holidays, especially during Christmas, for those who celebrate this holiday, in which our funeral home holds a service of remembrance.  The families that have lost a loved one are invited to get together at a local church for a beautiful service where each family is presented a gold dove ornament with the name of their loved one engraved on it.  This is especially popular with the families that our funeral homes serve, because we are recognizing the pain that they are going through. 

Our funeral directors open themselves up for the grievers to be able to discuss what they are feeling during times of grieving, during and after the funeral.  Allowing grievers to show emotion for their loved one is important because we live in a society which tells them that it is not acceptable to grieve at other times during the year. 

The most beautiful people we have known are those who have known defeat, known suffering, known struggle, known loss, and have found their way out of the depths. These persons have an appreciation, a sensitivity, and an understanding of life that fills them with compassion, gentleness, and a deep loving concern. Beautiful people do not just happen.   --Elisabeth Kubler-Ross

 

Memorabilia

Above is an example of a display that a family member would put in the funeral home during their loved ones service.  This one in particular, is for someones Mom or Grandmother.  This woman's hobbies seem to have been gardening, making jam, and cooking.  It is a nice touch to place items around the funeral home to reminisce about what your loved one enjoyed doing.  Another great idea is to put picture collages and picture frames, scattered around the funeral home, of all of your loved ones family and friends.  From personal experience, rummaging through old pictures is a great way to think about all of the good times that you had with your loved one.  If you are too busy making the arrangements, put someone from your family in charge of this task that was very close to the person who passed on.  This will make them feel like they are contributing and will help with their grief process. 

Happy Valentines Day!

"Love is patient, love is kind. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered. It keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in sin, but rejoices with truth. It always protects, always hopes, always trusts, always perseveres. Love never fails."
1 Corinthians 13:4-8

"I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel."
— Maya Angelou

The Grief Process

The grieving process begins the moment the loved one dies.  The grief process can take from six months to five years depending on the relationship the griever had with the person that passed on.  Elisabeth Kubler-Ross and David Kessler have researched the grief process and they have combined efforts to propose a five stage grief process. 

Step 1, Denial: “The world becomes meaningless and overwhelming.  Life makes no sense” (Kubler-Ross).  We are in such shock that we ask ourselves questions such as “how can I go on?”  Denial will begin to fade away as you become stronger and better able to handle the fact that your loved one has passed on. 

Step 2, Anger: You might feel anger towards a doctor, a teacher, a friend, or family member, you are angry with these people to try to find a reason for the loss of your loved one, you need to allow yourself to be angry or else you will not get over this stage.  “It is natural to feel deserted and abandoned, but we live in a society that fears anger” (Kubler-Ross). 

Step 3, Bargaining: “Before a loss, it seems like you will do anything if only your loved one would be spared” (Kubler-Ross).  You tell God to take your life instead of your loved ones; you say anything to try to avoid the reality of your loved one passing on.  By taking part in bargaining we only make ourselves believe the ‘if onlys,’ which will make ourselves think that we are in some way responsible for the death.  After the efforts of bargaining we come back into the present and feel the roots of depression.  

Step 4, Depression: “Empty feelings present themselves, and grief enters our lives on a deeper level, deeper than we ever imagined” (Kubler-Ross).  This is not the mental illness of depression, it is a depressing occurrence that we must deal with to be able to overcome the sadness. 

Step 5, Acceptance: This should not be mistaken for the person feeling okay, “Most people don’t ever feel OK or alright about the loss of a loved one” (Kubler-Ross).  This final stage of the grief process is about accepting the reality of the loss.  It is very difficult to find acceptance because this means that this person is now out of your life forever.  “We must learn to reorganize roles, re-assign them to others or take them on ourselves” (Kubler-Ross).  These loved ones can never be replaced and there are constant reminders of them in your house, in the favorite restaurants they always took you, and when going to the beach that they enjoyed. 

These stages are the basis of what a griever feels when they lose a person from their life.  These stages intensify depending on the relationship the griever has with the person who has passed. 

Introduction

The reason why Moore Funeral Services, Inc. decided to begin this Blog is because we find that people have many misconceptions about the funeral business and the role of funeral directors.  We will be taking a deeper look into what people are going through when they lose someone that was in their life and what funeral directors can do to help.  This blog will also discuss, as well as many other subjects, funeral etiquette, things to say to a griever, and ways you can help your friend or yourself cope with the loss of a person in their/your lives.